Let Go
by moonlightfan78
Summary: This is set after the seelie court scene in the books. Things go just as I would have wanted to in the books. I guess I'm a sucker for a little Jace/Clary fluff. I hope you all like it. Let me know what you think. This is supposed to be a one shot but I may add more depending on feedback.
1. Chapter 1

"Let go" he growled as his voice as command as he breathed down her neck stirring her hair. She moaned at his words as they skated down her spine. "You know you want to, don't push me away again."

"I can't" Clary sighed as his hands moved her hair aside and he stepped even closer so that his lips could slide over her neck. "We shouldn't feel like this."

He turned her around suddenly and plastered her against the wall, caging her body in with his own hard one leaning close. "There is nothing wrong with this, with us. I love you, don't lie to me anymore about how you feel, you love me too, admit it." His voice was a forceful command that she couldn't ignore and something about it touched something inside her, making her crazy.

She breathed deeply, the scent of him wrapping around her. Her head swam and she got lost in the nearness of him.

"Admit it." He growled forcefully as he fitted his body against her own running his lips over her neck. "No one responds like you did in the Seelie court without feeling something." 

"Yes" she said softly as she learned her head back giving him access, drowning in the feel of his half naked body against hers.

"Yes what" he whispered against her neck as he ran his hands over her sides. She arched against him, trapped inside his magic.

"I love you" she whispered "I can't stay away from you anymore."

"That's what I wanted to hear." He murmured harshly as he tried to control his breathing. His fell to his knees and allowed his lips to skate over her stomach as he started at the bottom and began to unbutton her blouse with his teeth. The pull of the fabric rubbed her skin and she moaned and pushed her breasts against his mouth wanting more.

Jace smiled as he pulled the last button free and stripped the shirt off her. He took in her simple cotton bra and found himself get hard. Her perfect breasts were cupped in soft blue cotton and he thought he might die. He couldn't pinpoint what it was about her, but she was magic, unlike any girl he'd ever touched before and he couldn't stand not touching her another minute.

"Clary you enchant me, from the first moment I saw you I knew you were going to be mine." His hands slid the straps of her bra down and she shivered as the material whispered down her arms followed by Jace's hot mouth. She moaned despite her best efforts not to as his lips seemed to be everywhere. He wrapped his arms around her and slid the bra down and off leaving her bare. He wrapped his fingers around her shoulders and arched her against his seeking mouth. His lips closed over her nipples and Clary lost all ability to stand on her own. Jace laughed against her skin and lifted her in his arms so he could reach her better. Her legs went around his waist and locked around his slim hips. He growled against her skin and nipped harder sending a rush of pleasure straight to her loins.

She let out a soft scream as his fingers traced down her stomach and slid into the snap of her jeans popping it open. Clary woke up from her Jace induced trance and took action. She was in one of the most exhilarating, sexual moments of her life and she was letting it pass her by. She reached out and jerked his head back up to hers and claimed his mouth in a fierce kiss. Jace growled, his hair and runes seemed to glow in the dim light of his room. She pulled herself further up his body digging her legs into his thighs. She flipped her nimble artists fingers over his shoulders and down his hard pecks stopping to run her nails over his hardened nipples. She enjoyed the gasp he gritted out between kisses and gritted teeth.

She reached the snap on his jeans and opened it sliding her fingers inside. Jace seemed to go up like a house on fire at her first touch. He became a wild man. He ripped his lips from hers and hitched her up higher burying his head in her breasts again as he slammed her against the wall. She didn't even mind the feel of the wall hitting her back, it made her crazy too.

His hands made quick work of her jeans throwing them away so fast she was sure they had been torn off. He threw them over his shoulder as her feet dug into his hips pushing his jeans down. Jace laughed softly and stepped out of them pressing his now naked body against her. they both moaned as his heat met the thin barrier of her lace panties.

Jace pulled back and looked at her in her blue lace underwear ready and clinging to him and knew he was lost. If there had been any thought of stopping, of going back it flew out of the window the moment his golden eyes met hers. She opened her mouth and a breathy sigh of his name pushed him over the edge.

He grabbed her flush against him again and flipped them around as he carried her to the bed so fast that she only registered the change when her back met the softness of the comforter. She wrapped her arms tighter around him not allowing him a moment apart from her. She laced her hands in his hair and tugged him closer for another kiss. Clary felt as if her body would explode if he wasn't in her arms.

Jace hovered over her grabbing both of her hands from his hair kissing each finger, lightly nipping each one as he pulled them together above her head. He threaded one of his large hands through both of hers and held them with one hand while his other went skating down her body. He traced her face with gentle fingers and ran his rough fingers over her breasts before sliding down to play with the edge of her panties.

His eyes raised to meet hers as he traced the lace. Her body thumped and she opened to him automatically, an act as natural as breathing. "You don't need these do you?" he asked softly as he traced the pattern. "I like them but I like what's under them more." He met her eyes and waited for her to allow him this last thing and she arched against his seeking fingers nodding her assent on a breathy sigh.

He winked and jerked them off with a quick rip. She gasped and felt his fingers on her and then inside her as she pushed against his fingers. She moaned his name like a chant or a prayer as he touched her. He released her hands and she immediately ran her hands down his broad back, tracking the rune patterns on his back. He moaned as she ran her fingers over the marks, caressing them. Her fingers shook from the pleasure he was causing but she wanted to memorize every inch of him the way she would drawl him later. He moaned when her fingers found and caressed him in return. He grabbed her hands again and pulled them away.

"Clary, I won't last if you do that, you don't know how long I've dreamed of this." He smiled down at the flushed picture she created and she was so much more beautiful than he imagined she would be. He knew his imagination was lacking, but not this much, she was a goddess.

Clary sighed as her body cried for him. She was so sick of not knowing how or even if they would be together again and she loved him too much to wait anymore. "Then don't" she moaned softly, "I can't stand one more minute without you, I need you now." With a last jerk she pulled him down to her and they both groaned at the feel of their bodies meeting fully for the first time.

Jace closed his eyes as Clary wrapped around him. He knew if he only lived until tomorrow or if he lived to be a hundred there would never be another moment like this one. Time seemed to stand still as she opened for him and he pushed inside her. She stiffened but adjusted quickly to his invasion. He kissed the tear away from her cheeks as he threaded is fingers through hers and held on as she moved her hips under him and they began to move.

The feeling of joining with her was unlike anything ever and he knew there would never be anyone else for him, no matter what. She had completely ruined him for anyone else. Clary wrapped her legs around him and tilted her hips up and they began to move faster. Jace felt his body clench but he knew he had to hold out. The sweat gathered on his brow as he tried to hold on.

Clary smiled at the concentration on Jace's face as her body began to ripple and clutch at his. She dug her heels into his hips as her body grabbed his a final time and she screamed his name as she fell over. Jace groaned her name like a prayer as he followed her.

Time suspended again as they came back down, both breathing heavily as he released her hands and he slid into her waiting arms still inside her body. Clary ran her hands through his hair and pulled him up to look at her. "I love you Jace" she said softly "what am I going to do with you?"

Jace smiled and moved gently inside her, watching her eyes catch fire. "I have some suggestions for you." He said with a wink that stole her heart all over again. As he began to move again Clary began to burn again as he whispered his love in her ear.


	2. Wanting more

Wanting More

Clary sighed and rolled over running her hands through her hair. She gripped it and sighed ruffling her comforter. It had been two days since she'd woken up in Jace's arms and all she could do was think about it, and him. She'd just barely managed to keep herself from jumping him again but she felt the burn every time he looked at her with his hungry gaze. Every minute she wasn't training she wanted to spend with him or just to be in the same room with him. Just to be in his radius was enough to set her on fire. It was like a sickness in her blood that she couldn't shake.

Clary scrubbed her face with her hand and rolled over getting to her feet and grabbing her training gear. Somehow she'd managed to avoid him without it seeming on purpose but she knew Jace was aware that she was running, confused. Jace was usually asleep this early in the morning and she wanted to get an early start, maybe if she trained to exhaustion again she could resist the urge to be with him. It was like an itch she couldn't control, only made worse by the sweet memories she couldn't escape. She moaned as she slid her blank tank top over her sensitive skin, remembering his hard, hot body pressing hers against the wall in his room. Him moving inside her as she'd griped his hips with her legs and arms, not able to get enough.

Clary growled a very Jace like growl and snapped her pony tail holder around her long ponytail. She had to keep moving, keep herself busy so she wouldn't give in. She made it to the training room in record time and began working on her blade work. She pushed herself hard, enjoying the burn in her muscles that kept her libido if not in check at least tamped down for the moment. She tried to focus on the moves and her speed and not on the need she felt with every other breath.

She didn't realize she had an audience until she felt the scorching gaze running over her. She flipped backwards and came to a stop within inches of smugly smiling Jace. He raised one blonde brow and appeared as casual as anyone observing a training exercise, but Clary wasn't fooled. He radiated tension and desire and she knew that he was barely holding himself back.

Clary groaned inwardly and mentally slapped her head in frustration. How was she going to keep from ripping his clothes off when he looked so good and smelled even better. Clary didn't have to try too hard to tell that Jace had just showered and she felt a moment of heat flush her body at the image of him soapy and naked. She'd seen him first hand so she no longer had to imagine the suds sliding down his hard abs, she knew just how delicious he would look.

"So this is where you've been hiding." He said slowly in that dry British accent that always made her burn. He advanced on her slowly, a lion stalking it's prey. His eyes, a bright golden brown, glowed as they devoured every inch of her. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

"just training " she stuttered out shakily as he ran his fingers down her arm and back up again to play with the straps of her tank top. He walked around her and slid the other strap down as his lips grazed her shoulder blades.

"One might think" he said between kisses "That you were hiding from me."

"No" she shook her head soundly as his lips caused shivers to run down her spine. "I just,,, Just didn't want to .." she lost her train of thought as he pulled the pony tail holder out of her hair and it fell around her shoulders in a curling sheet.. His breath moved over her neck as he continued to kiss her and he smiled against her skin at her stuttering.

"want to what little mundie?" he asked with a smile as she tensed " Try not to rip my clothes off? I am devastatingly handsome after all."

Clary gulped, unable to speak as his lips moved over her. She stood and shivered, amazed at how she could be so hot and so chilled at the same time. He drove her crazy. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth trying to keep from begging him to take her.

Jace stepped back and looked at her when she didn't answer misinterpreting her closed eyes and silence. A horrible thought crashed into his mind, that she didn't want him, that she was regretting making love to him. That she couldn't stand being in the same room with him after what they'd done. His gut twisted as she continued to be silent.

"or" he said slowly taking another step back his eyes narrowing as the sickening thought hit him "are you trying to avoid being with me because you regret,,, everything." He said it slowly, he couldn't bring himself to say the worlds, to say that she might regret making love to him, might regret admitting she loved him. His heart bled at the thought and he immediately switched to asshole mode. He knew he was being a jerk but he couldn't help himself. "Have you changed your mind, did you get enough?"

Clary opened her eyes with a snap unable to believe what she was hearing. She couldn't believe that after what they had been through that he would doubt her so easily. She felt anger cool her ardor and she took a step toward him her eyes blazing.

"first," she said with a hiss "I am not a mundie, second" she said as she stepped closer and poked him in the chest, " I can't believe you would doubt me, doubt us so easily, after all we've been through. And lastly," she said with a growl as she backed him against the wall, "this is for being an ass." She slapped him so hard that his head jerked back and bounced against the wall. "Don't touch me again until you get your head out of your ass."

Jace watched her stalk away, glorious red hair swinging and couldn't help but smile as he rubbed is cheek. Damn he loved a woman with a good right hook. Her words soaked into his brain and he felt his heart lift. He moved quicker than he ever thought he could as he sped across the training room and grabbed her. He jerked her away from the door as she reached for the handle and pulled her back against him. He wrapped her arms around her and dragged her to the floor wrapping himself around her.

"I'm such an ass" he said with repentance in his voice. "Please forgive me." Clary struggled against him, anger still pumping in her veins. He held on tighter even though she tried to headbutt him.

"I can't believe you would doubt me, after everything." Clary spat the words as she tried harder to get away. "You have no faith in anything at all, even me."

Jace's heart constricted and pain unlike anything he'd ever felt before ran through his body. He knew that if she got away without forgiving him she would never want to be with him again and he couldn't lose her.

"you're the only thing I do believe in." He said softly as he breathed in her ear. "You are what keeps me sane, I can't live without you, I love you. I was just so afraid that you'd changed your mind that after what happened the other night that you didn't want me anymore. It's the nightmare that keeps me up at night."

Clary felt her anger melt as his words sunk in and she felt his fingers gently wiping the tears off her face. She leaned into his seeking hands and sighed. "It is my nightmare too." She admitted softly.

Jace flipped her around until she straddled him and wiped the last of the tears away. He felt like a total jerk and knew that he didn't deserve her. " I am so sorry" he said with a sigh as he raked his damp hair, "I am a total ass."

Clary traced his face as the last of her anger melted away. "yes you are." She agreed solemly as she laced her hands in his hair.

Jace growled and flipped her onto her back leaning over her. "But you love me," he said with a false confidence that Clary saw right through. This between them was so new that he needed to be reassured and she knew that even the strongest shadow hunter male was a scared little boy at heart. "Admit it."

"I do" she sighed as she tugged his body the last few inches until it was flush against hers. "But you were right," she said softly as the last of her anger melted "I was avoiding you, do you want to know why?"

Jace smiled and arched and eyebrow in silent question grateful that she wasn't requiring him to answer because his throat was absolutely closed with relief that she hadn't changed her mind.

"I was avoiding you because I was trying not to rip your clothes off." She said with a smirk as she smiled up into his eyes, liking the way his golden eyes glowed brighter at her admission. "I can't think of anything else."

Jace swallowed and found his tongue once again tied up at her innocent admission. She constantly surprised him with her openness and her honesty. She never ceased to amaze him. He smiled down at her as her admission caused the fire in his blood to begin raging out of control.

"Just want I was hoping you'd say." Jace growled as he plowed his fingers through her hair. "Because I haven't been able to think about anything else either. Every moment I haven't touched you has been hell." His mouth grazed her face and he nibbled slowly along her lips, teasing with every touch. "to have you so close yet just out of reach has been torture."

"I'm here now, Clary murmured as she arched against his mouth wanting more. Jace seemed to understand what she wanted because he pulled her up and into his lap pulling the black tank top over her head. He gasped at the image she presented because under her workout tank she was bare. Her perfect breasts were pouting and ready for him and he moaned in almost pain at the surprise.

She smiled and jerked his t shirt over his head so he was bare too. His shower damp t shirt flew behind them and hit the floor without a sound but Clary only cared about getting more of him against her. The painful need she'd been struggling to control burst free and she went wild. She rubbed her breasts against his chest and moaned at the friction.

Jace's hands were everywhere and he growled and tried to flip them back over so she was underneath him but she pulled away and pushed him back with surprising strength. She stood and stepped back grabbing the waistband of her lightweight workout pants. She slid them down catching her underwear with them until she was completely bare.

Jace caught his breath at the image she presented standing proudly naked before him. she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, let alone touched and he still couldn't figure out why she'd chosen him.

Clary smiled as his eyes roved over her and he sat stupefied. She loved it when she shocked him into silence. She loved knowing she affected him so strongly. She ran her hands up the side of her body and up into her hair fluffing it out. Jace flipped up to his feet with the quickness and agility she'd come to expect from him and stalked toward her.

He reached her and pulled her against him and she went willingly. He took her lips in a fierce kiss and rammed his hands into her hair holding her to him. She reached her hands down and pushed his training pants down and off so that he was as naked as she was. She moaned as their bodies rubbed against each other and she forgot to breathe. She'd been wanting this, waiting for it since they'd made love.

"we should move this somewhere more private," he murmured against her neck as his hands trailed down her body. "someone might see."

"Since when do you care who see's?" Clary asked breathlessly "are you ashamed of me?"

Jace smiled and picked her up walking her toward a pile of mats. "No" he hissed as she wrapped around him bringing her hot core against him. He closed his eyes and had to really focus on what he wanted to say. "but I want you to myself."

Clary smiled as Jace sat down on the mats and began to touch her again. She wasn't sure she could get much more ready and she just wanted him. "And I want you," she said softly as she moved herself over him "don't you think it's time you gave me what I want."

Jace stopped breathing at her words and looked up into her green eyes. By the angel she was perfect, he couldn't believe his luck. Clary positioned herself over him and took him inside as she straddled him and they both screamed out. she was ready and that spurned Jace on.

They moved fast and hard and Clary grabbed Jace's hair and held on tight, no ashamed at how she wanted him. Jace gripped her and slammed her down on him as sweat gathered on his brow.

"Give me more" she moaned as he took her nipples in his mouth. She moved with him so perfectly that Jace knew he would never last. He grunted as his body wound tight ready to explode. He'd never experienced anything so sexual or so filled with emotion.

"God I love you" he moaned as they let go together and fell down exhausted on the mats. He tenderly pushed the hair back from her forehead and tucked her against his chin and felt the most contented he ever had in his life. He never knew that finding the right person could make his world feel like this, that he could actually have hope.

Clary giggled and nuzzled his ear as she breathed in that scent of sweat and Jace that drove her crazy. "I guess you should have waited until after I ravished you to shower." She said with a laugh.

Jace held her closer and kissed her "and here I thought you didn't want me."

Clary laughed again and pulled him closer "No I just wanted more."


	3. Saving Me

Saving me

The darkness covered everything laying like a thick blanket over the world. The night was still and kept the secrets that resided there as Clary and Jace lay together in the greenhouse looking up at the night sky. The stars twinkled at them and Jace knew he had never been happier no matter what anyone else had to say about them. Jace pulled her closer to him and breathed in her scent knowing that nothing on earth would make him give her up, she was too precious to him.

Clary snuggled against him and wrapped her leg around him wanting to be closer. The scent of flowers swam in the air around them and she sighed as his hands moved over her back. She arched against him trying not to let the world creep in, trying to only live in this moment.

Jace's hands traced her back and he wrapped his hands around her shoulders tracing his lips down her chest. Clary moaned and drover her hands into his hair holding his mouth closer to her breasts. His lips closed over her nipple through the thin tank she wore and she moaned louder and wanted more than anything for him to pull her clothes off.

Jace's hands trembled as they met the edge of her sleep shorts and dove inside. He smiled as he found her naked beneath. His hands skated over her as she moaned beneath him. He felt her hands in his hair and felt his body tighten at the little noises she made as she pulled his hair. He loved it when she pulled his hair, maybe that made him sick but he couldn't help it.

He smiled and broke her hold in his hair gathering her hands in his and raised them above her head. He held them there in a playful grip as she pretended to struggle, but he saw the excitement in her eyes. Clary lay like a queen among the brilliant flowers putting them all to shame. Midnight had come and gone, revealing their otherworldly charms but they had nothing on his Clary's beauty. He leaned down to kiss her and she smiled up at him before she arched her body against his and flipped him off her and over onto his back. She grinned down at him as he looked up at her in surprise. He reached for her but she pushed him back down onto the grass with her bare foot.

"Not so fast" she commanded with an evil grin as her foot pushed him back. "stay right where you are"

Jace couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. He felt like a kid at Christmas as she stepped back and reached for the hem of her tank top. Jace growled and folded his hands behind his head getting ready to enjoy the show. He wanted to grab her and make the little witch pay for this torture but he would get his revenge later. Clary smiled and inched the green material slowly, too slowly for his liking, up her body. Clary hesitated right before revealing her breasts and smiled wickedly at him, loving the way he lost his ability to keep his casual pose and had begun to lean forward with every inch the material of her shirt traveled up her body.

She smiled again and was about to resume her striptease when the glass at the top of the greenhouse blew out. Clary screamed as she ducked to avoid the falling slivers. Time seemed to freeze as the glass flowing down, catching the light from the moon and glistened like starlight in the darkness. The dark mist swirled in the broken ceiling and surrounded her. She felt her feet lift off the ground and tried to scream, but her throat was covered in darkness that stole her breath. Clary raked at the sentient mist with her nails but it did little good, her vision was going dark and she knew she was dying. She was a shadow hunter and knew the risks of this life but she didn't want to leave Jace.

Jace stared at the falling glass and tried to get to her but he seemed to move in slow motion. Jace roared as panic raced along his veins. He pushed with all his might and finally broke free of the hold of the mist as he kicked his foot under the handle of the seraph blade lying nearby and flung it up into his hand. He swiped at the mist finding it like cutting through thick sludge as the wall between Clary and himself seemed to get thicker. He called his other blade forward and slashed with them both at once. The darkness slithered but gave as he hacked his way through. It reared back as if injured and shook Clary like a doll. Jace watched in horror as he slashed at the mist and she was slammed to the ground like a forgotten toy. The mist sucked back up through the ceiling and the regular night sounds returned leaving only the sound of Jace and Clary's ragged breathing in the silence.

Jace raced to her side and gathered her close stroking the fiery hair back from her forehead. He searched her face for damage and she gasped and grabbed her throat.

"What the hell was that?" Jace gasped loudly as he picked Clary up and raced with her to the elevator yelling for help as he went.

Clary tried to speak but could only manage a low gasp as he pushed inside the elevator and hit the button for the infirmary. "Demon?" she guessed softly " but you saved me from it, I 've never felt anything so strong before." She laid her head on his shoulder as he carried her to the infirmary her hands clutching his shirt.

Jace laid her down on the bed gently urging help to hurry. "I will always protect you," he said fiercely " with my life if I need to."

He pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She lay against his chest trying to breathe normally but her breath rattled in her chest in a way that scared her. "Thank you for saving me." She said in a hoarse whisper as she lay against him. She felt light headed and dizzy and knew it wouldn't be long before the darkness took over.

Jace smiled and pulled her closer but he missed the red that overshadowed her eyes before they slid shut.


	4. What's left of me

**What's left of me**

The darkness faded in stages, with shadowy images drifting in front of her closed eyelids. Clary groaned as she struggled to fight the darkness. Her eyelids fluttered as her waking mind finally forced her up out of the well of darkness.

Clary opened her eyes to a screaming headache and the sight of Jace asleep in a chair beside her, his hand holding hers. Clary grimaced as she took in the unnatural position he sat in. She rubbed her eyes with her free hand and tried to pull her hand away without waking him. The moment her hand slipped free Jace jerked awake with a start. When he saw her looking at him he smiled tiredly the strain evident around his eyes.

"Hey beautiful" he said softly as he moved to sit beside her. He pushed her hair back and looked into her eyes, his eyes searching her face.

Clary smiled and cupped his face. "How long have I been out?"

Jace smiled back and put his hand into her hair tilting her face up to his. "Two days." He said softly as he studied a face that had come to mean the world to him. Jace felt such relief at seeing her eyes open that he felt as if a huge weight had lifted off his shoulders. Jace had refused to leave her bedside even for a moment for the whole miserable 48 hours. Jace had alternated between fear of her death and the even darker terror of what he would do without her.

"I've missed you" he said softly as he leaned closer and took her lips with his, gently as if she might break. "I was so afraid you were going to leave me. "

Clary smiled and pulled him tighter to her "I would never leave you." 

Jace buried his face in her hair smelling that scent that haunted his every waking moment. "Promise?" he asked softly as he pulled back.

Clary smiled at him and the way he seemed so like a child for a moment. Jace was fierce and determined and absolutely lethal but it was when he let his guard down and let her see him as vulnerable that won her heart. "Promise."

Jace kissed her again gently and Clary felt frustrated at his gentleness, Right now she wanted passion, a reaffirmation of their life, not gentle treatment. She pulled him into a deeper kiss and growled when he tried to hold back. "Jace kiss me, really kiss me" she commanded " Don't you want me?"

Jace gulped and looked down into her eyes. "More than my life" he said softly " but we don't know what that mist was and you have been unconscious for two days, I have to take care of you." He tried to pull back but she grabbed him and pulled him back on top of her with surprising strength.

"Jace" she said softly "please."

Jace felt his resistance snap at the pleading in her voice. Everything else fell away despite the fact that they were in the infirmary and anyone could walk in at anytime. Jace slid down her body and wrapped her in his arms. Clary traced the faded scars from old runes and traced the permanent ones on his arms and chest where his shirt was open. She raked her hands up under his shirt and he growled in pleasure.

"By the angel Clary, how can I say no to you?" Jace kissed her fiercely his hands moving over her frantically. He pulled her shirt up and touched her breasts. She arched against his touch and smiled her pleasure as his lips found her. She growled and reached down ripping his shirt in half in her hurry to bare him to her. Jace smiled and pulled her shirt off and threw it behind him. Clary reached down and slid her pants off leaving her clad in only a pair of black boyshorts.

He smiled down at her and reached for the snap on his jeans. He knew he was being reckless but the sight of her lying there in only her panties was too much for his already weak control. He began to unsnap them stopped short when she opened her eyes and they glowed red. She smiled and her teeth were sharp like a vampires. Jace jumped back and slid to the end of the bed.

"Clary, your eyes..He gasped in disbelief "their red" Jace sat up and reached for her and she cringed back.

"What is wrong with me?" she asked in terror as she felt her teeth pierce her lip and she tasted blood.

Jace crept forward even though he was terrified. This was his Clary and he had vowed to protect her no matter what and she needed him. He came up on his knees and reached for her. Clary sat back not wanting to touch him in case she hurt him. "What have I become?"

Jace grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms even though he wasn't sure if she would hold him back or rip him apart. "I don't know" he answered softly once she stopped fighting him and began to sob in his arms "but you're still mine and I will take care of you."

"Why waste your time, I could kill you." Her voice a tiny whisper came to him through a cloud of shinning red hair.

"Because I love you." Jace said simply as he held her "and I'll never let you go."

Clary closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his warm solid warmth praying that he never had to.


	5. What I've Become

So sorry it has been such a long time between updates but life gets in the way as it often does. I hope you like this update. Please review and let me know what you think.

**What I've become**

The nightmare began again and kept playing like a sick looping movie in her head. She saw the blood, smelled it and could almost taste it as it dripped off her. She looked down and her hands were coated in blood. She gagged and began to backpedal in horror at her crimson hands but then her eye caught and held her worst fear. Her mouth opened to scream but no sound came out as the horror of Jace's sightless eyes closed her throat. All she could do was stare in horror at Jace's body and listen to the laughter in her head.

Clary sat up and screamed. It was a low mournful sound that had Jace's skin crawling. He jumped and almost fell off the bed, where he'd been sleeping next to her. He grabbed her and pulled her toward him but she fought him. Her nails elongated and her teeth were sharp points in her mouth as it opened for her to scream. She was still caught in the dream and her eyes, red as rubies, were unable to see reality.

Jace shook her and yelled her name but it didn't matter. Clary growled and clutched her head trying to shut out the laughter inside her mind. She screamed again and again and Jace was terrified that he might not be able to bring her back. He grimaced but did the only thing he could do, he slapped her, hard.

Clary's head flew back and she jerked as the pain broke through her dream and her eyes cleared of the terror. Clary's breath was ragged as she took in the room and finally Jace. She sobbed when he pulled her to him, cradling her like a child in his arms. He whispered her name over and over like a prayer and it echoed the pain from her own heart.

The silent brothers had been called once she'd awakened and they had tried to find the cause of her transformation. It had taken them two weeks of "tests" that had almost driven Clary insane. Finally they had found the bite on her that they had missed because it had been cloaked by a spell infused in the bite. Clary's heart had clenched when she'd seen the flash of sadness cross one brother's eyes before he hid it, but she knew what it meant.

The demon who had attacked her that night was called a Supressio demon. They were ancient and one of the most deadly. They specialized in attacking people and taking over their dreams. The demon was usually sent for someone in particular and always got its prey. The demon took the victim over in degrees, using their worst fears and nightmares against them. The victim eventually became one of the Suppressio demons and began taking their own victims.

The Silent brothers hadn't seen one in hundreds of years. They belief being that the last of this demon had been killed in the last great demon war, but this latest attack had proved them wrong. The records stated that the last shadowhunter bitten by a Supressio demon had taken two months to change and then had to be killed. There was no known cure for the bite, rumors and legends certainly, but no known cure.

"Jace get away from me" she snarled pushing at him "I don't want to hurt you."

Jace smiled even as he grunted from the effort to keep her in his arms. Since the brothers had found the mark on her, her change had been rapid, and Clary spent more and more time now in a partial demon form. She refused to look at him and was becoming more and more distant, building up walls to keep him out so that when her time came it wouldn't hurt him so much.

"No" he said firmly forcing both her hands into one of his. He freed the other to force her to look at him. Her eyes glowed red and she fought like mad to get away, but he was still stronger. "I have told you and told you, I'm not going anywhere."

"But the dreams.." she began sadly trying to keep the growl from her voice. "What happens when I actually hurt you, how can I live with that? You need to get away from me now." Her voice was more a command than a request but Jace heard the sadness and loss in her voice and was determined to never let her go even if he had to follow her to hell and back.

Jace lifted her chin to meet his gaze, forcing her to meet his eyes. "You won't hurt me and you belong to me always." Jace's heavenly blue eyes looked down into her red ones and she felt her heart shatter at the memories of the screams in her head. Clary did the only thing she could think to do, she cried.

"Shit" Jace swore softly as he kissed her cheeks trying to stop the tears. "Please don't cry, Please," he begged silently " I can't stand it when you cry." He wipped away a few more tears and noticed that his hand came away red.

Clary grabbed his hand and examined it, looking for cuts. When she found none she shoved him away quickly and jumped up to race to the mirror across from the bed. She stared in abject horror at her reflection and raked her hand through her unruly waves. Her eyes were now bright red and her hair had acquired streaks of blonde as the demon took over. Eventually she would have white blonde hair and red eyes all the time, eventually she would no longer be able to control herself, she would kill anyone who came close. "What the hell have I become?" she asked softly as she stared into her own demon red eyes.

She rubbed her eyes and turned away from the mirror unable to look at herself anymore. She walked to the window and stared out at the rainy day. She ignored Jace as a feeling of anger and loss overwhelmed her. She gripped the windowsill and tried to breathe as she felt him moving toward her. He was like gravity holding her tethered and she didn't know how she was going to live without him but she knew what the silent brothers thought, knew that her chances of staying herself were slim to none. Jace would never walk away but he wasn't safe and he had to get away from her.

He came to stand behind her and bracketed her with his arms. "You're still you." He said softly as he nuzzled her neck and for a moment she enjoyed it breathing him in, but then she did what she had to, she shoved him away.

Jace felt shock run through him as she pushed him away. He tried to move closer again but she turned on him with a snarl. "Get away from me." She growled "I can't stand to have you touch me. "

"Clary" Jace said brokenly reaching for her. His eyes were clouded with pain and it ripped her in half but she knew it was for the best. "Please let me help you."

"No one can help me." She snarled loudly as she shoved his chest. She turned and ignored him even though she could barely breathe. "Get out."


End file.
